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Sip Leaner — Counting Down The 22 Most Explosively Fattening Cocktails


Even if you’re aiming for elite fitness levels, a sliced-and-diced six-pack, and sub 10% body fat, you DON’T have to sacrifice alcohol altogether. It’s about moderation, optimal mixology, and smart choices — all of which we covered earlier this summer in The Lean Man’s (Or Woman’s) Drinking Guidebook: 8 Simple Ways To Drink Lean & Keep the Pounds Off.

The ding-ding-ding word there: smart choices. You can always Frankenstein a drink to significantly enhance its nutritional content/reduce its potential damage, but if your cocktail starter kit is so-far-gone to begin with, it’s game over, gut.

We’ve run the numbers and ranked 22 of the most popular cocktails — slotted from leanest (#1) to most explosively fattening (#22) — based on calories, % calories from alcohol, sugar, and carbs.

Which chuggable monstrosity takes the crown as the most fattening cocktail on earth? We count down from 1-22.



Sip Leaner. Counting Down The 22 Most Explosively Fattening Cocktails

A note: All nutritional info is computed based on common cocktail recipes listed at Recipes, ingredients, and drink sizes are always HIGHLY variable depending on who makes them, glass size, the # of shots used, mixology, and ingredients.

Consider all values to be a cocktail’s “nutritional average.” The majority of nutritional info online is misleading and incorrect — we’ve calculated drink totals from scratch based on the standard ingredients listed in each recipe.1



1. Bloody Mary — 80 calories, 81% calories from alcohol

What’s typically in it: 1 oz vodka, 3 oz tomato juice, hot sauce, Worcestershire sauce, lemon, celery

Nutrition Info: 80 calories, 9 g alcohol, 3 g sugar, 4 g carbs — 81% calories from alcohol.

Your lean gameplan: Drink up as is.



2. Vodka Soda w. Lime — 97 calories, 100% calories from alcohol

What’s typically in it: 1.5 oz vodka, 6.5 oz soda water, lime

Nutrition Info: 97 calories, 14 g alcohol, 0 g sugar, 0 g carbs — 100% calories from alcohol.

Your lean gameplan: Drink up as is.

Vodka Soda


3. Mimosa — 129 calories, 63% calories from alcohol

What’s typically in it: 4 oz. champagne, 2 oz. OJ

Nutrition Info: 129 calories, 12 g alcohol, 7 g sugar, 10 g carbs — 63% calories from alcohol.

Your lean gameplan: Use REAL orange juice, preferably with pulp.



4. Bay Breeze — 139 calories, 52% calories from alcohol

What’s typically in it: 1.5 oz. Malibu rum, 2 oz. cranberry juice, 2 oz. pineapple juice

Nutrition Info: 139 calories, 10 g alcohol, 14 g sugar, 24 g carbs — 52% calories from alcohol.

Your lean gameplan: Switch the Malibu out for a shot of light rum; more alcohol, fewer carbs.

Bay Breeze


5. Cranberry Vodka — 145 calories, 45% calories from alcohol

What’s typically in it: 1 oz. vodka, 4.5 oz. cranberry juice, splash lime juice, splash OJ

Nutrition Info: 145 calories, 9 g alcohol, 20 g sugar, 21 g carbs — 45% calories from alcohol.

Your lean gameplan: Use real cranberry juice; cranberry juice cocktail is loaded with HFCS and other added sugars.

Cranberry Vodka


Page: 1-5 | 6-10 | 11-15 | 16-22



References, Notes, Links

  1. Sources:,,,, []


Bryan DiSanto

Bryan DiSanto

Owner & Editor-in-Chief at Lean It UP
Bryan DiSanto is the Owner & Editor-in-Chief of Lean It UP, ACE-CPT & CSN, NYU graduate, ex-fat kid, and all-around fitness/nutrition nutjob.

When he’s not working on his (or somebody else’s) abs, whipping up Eggocados, or running a Tough Mudder, he’s probably off yelling at a Carolina Panthers game somewhere.
Bryan DiSanto

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  • Jen

    Wow! Never really thought that a “drink” could actually have way more calories than a full meal. That is just crazy - thanks for the great breakdown of calories, sugar, etc. Very enlightening!

  • TDUB

    If you get wasted at the end of the night and throw up does that cancel it out?

  • rnjbond

    Skip the pina colada entirely? That’s a defeatist attitude!

    Make it with light coconut milk, stevia, and frozen pineapple, along with rum. Blend it yourself and you have a tasty summer cocktail that won’t destroy your waistline.

    • Bryan DiSanto

      Brilliant. I suppose I’m a pragmatist and I realize that’ll NEVER happen if you’re out and about; HOWEVER, if you’re making home-made, that’s a bomb combination.

      Thanks for that, I’m going to have to test it out.