Sip Leaner — Counting Down The 22 Most Explosively Fattening Cocktails
Even if you’re aiming for elite fitness levels, a sliced-and-diced six-pack, and sub 10% body fat, you DON’T have to sacrifice alcohol altogether. It’s about moderation, optimal mixology, and smart choices — all of which we covered earlier this summer in The Lean Man’s (Or Woman’s) Drinking Guidebook: 8 Simple Ways To Drink Lean & Keep the Pounds Off.
The ding-ding-ding word there: smart choices. You can always Frankenstein a drink to significantly enhance its nutritional content/reduce its potential damage, but if your cocktail starter kit is so-far-gone to begin with, it’s game over, gut.
We’ve run the numbers and ranked 22 of the most popular cocktails — slotted from leanest (#1) to most explosively fattening (#22) — based on calories, % calories from alcohol, sugar, and carbs.
Which chuggable monstrosity takes the crown as the most fattening cocktail on earth? We count down from 1-22.
Sip Leaner. Counting Down The 22 Most Explosively Fattening Cocktails

A note: All nutritional info is computed based on common cocktail recipes listed at DrinksMixer.com. Recipes, ingredients, and drink sizes are always HIGHLY variable depending on who makes them, glass size, the # of shots used, mixology, and ingredients.
Consider all values to be a cocktail’s “nutritional average.” The majority of nutritional info online is misleading and incorrect — we’ve calculated drink totals from scratch based on the standard ingredients listed in each recipe.1
1. Bloody Mary — 80 calories, 81% calories from alcohol
What’s typically in it: 1 oz vodka, 3 oz tomato juice, hot sauce, Worcestershire sauce, lemon, celery
Nutrition Info: 80 calories, 9 g alcohol, 3 g sugar, 4 g carbs — 81% calories from alcohol.
Your lean gameplan: Drink up as is.
2. Vodka Soda w. Lime — 97 calories, 100% calories from alcohol
What’s typically in it: 1.5 oz vodka, 6.5 oz soda water, lime
Nutrition Info: 97 calories, 14 g alcohol, 0 g sugar, 0 g carbs — 100% calories from alcohol.
Your lean gameplan: Drink up as is.
3. Mimosa — 129 calories, 63% calories from alcohol
What’s typically in it: 4 oz. champagne, 2 oz. OJ
Nutrition Info: 129 calories, 12 g alcohol, 7 g sugar, 10 g carbs — 63% calories from alcohol.
Your lean gameplan: Use REAL orange juice, preferably with pulp.
4. Bay Breeze — 139 calories, 52% calories from alcohol
What’s typically in it: 1.5 oz. Malibu rum, 2 oz. cranberry juice, 2 oz. pineapple juice
Nutrition Info: 139 calories, 10 g alcohol, 14 g sugar, 24 g carbs — 52% calories from alcohol.
Your lean gameplan: Switch the Malibu out for a shot of light rum; more alcohol, fewer carbs.
5. Cranberry Vodka — 145 calories, 45% calories from alcohol
What’s typically in it: 1 oz. vodka, 4.5 oz. cranberry juice, splash lime juice, splash OJ
Nutrition Info: 145 calories, 9 g alcohol, 20 g sugar, 21 g carbs — 45% calories from alcohol.
Your lean gameplan: Use real cranberry juice; cranberry juice cocktail is loaded with HFCS and other added sugars.
Page: 1-5 | 6-10 | 11-15 | 16-22
References, Notes, Links
- Sources: CalorieLab.com, ShopWell.com, CalorieKing.com, NutritionData.com, DrinksMixer.com [↩]
Bryan DiSanto
When he’s not working on his (or somebody else’s) abs, whipping up Eggocados, or running a Tough Mudder, he’s probably off yelling at a Carolina Panthers game somewhere.
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